i can't believe "I" still have friends - an anonymous rant

"I can’t believe I still have friends."

I am a wreck and a wrecking ball. I consistently set myself up to fail, but that usually ends up wrong. I am insulting, derogatory, misogynistic, and just plain rude. I make fun of everything and everyone regardless of its nature. I hate. I hate kids. Even if I didn’t hate kids I am too much of a coward to have one for fear of it being retarded. I can barely take care of myself, so taking care of someTHING else is out of the question. And a retarded one? Not a chance in hell or heaven or any other idiotic fantasy afterlife Lalaland. I can’t own a dog because a dog is like a retarded kid. And they stink. And they want constant attention. Just like some little shit-bag kid. I don’t like your dog or your kid and if you have either, I probably don’t like you. I hate people, also, by the way. I hate Blacks, Whites, Asians, Indians, Canadians, Southerners, Northerners, etc. If I’ve left you out, I’m not sorry. But go ahead and include yourself in the list anyways. I drink excessively with no regard for my safety, much less the safety of those around. The people willing to drink with me have clearly made a dire mistake, or are just as shitty as I am, though I find that hard to choke down. If there is a bridge in sight, I have my matches ready. I’ve been going nowhere looking for nothing with no one for a very long time and I have no intention of stalling. The answer I have for your questions is NO. I’m not interested. Go away. I don’t believe in God or religion. It’s for weak-minded fools who are too afraid to come to terms with mortality and their own shitty existence. I do believe in stereotypes. If its being said enough, it’s probably true. I also believe that as a human being I am poisoning everything around me. But I don’t care because I’ll be dead and gone soon anyways. To sum things up, I believe in one solid truth: Take what you want and give nothing back.
-Anonymous wordsmith representing everyone